12 September 2006

Thank You

Yesterday, we did a family field trip to IKEA. And I'm here this morning to brag shamelessly. The IKEA warehouse in Emeryville is huge. I mean, bafflingly, overwhelmingly huge. And you're fed through it like rats in a maze, complete with arrows painted on the floor to keep you from getting lost forever. I assumed it would be unbearably boring for the boys, so I prepped a bag of raisins for snacks, and spent a lot of time talking about stuff, showing them the bits that were interesting. Both boys comported themselves beautifully. I think I started in telling Rowan how proud I was of how well he was coping (and acknowledging that he was, indeed, coping) midway through the Offices section, and kept it up as the screams of other bored-beyond-capacity children echoed off the cavernous interior. We spent some time in the Children's section, because they have play structures there, and it allowed Rowan to both blow off some steam, and to be the focus. Interestingly, my child is not the shopper a lot of kids are. Jason and I kept asking if he wanted things, and he kept declining. Really amazing. He did end up with a flashlight with a snake body, and a hanging chair of his own for the apple tree. At the end, we bought some cookies for the car trip home. Despite the fact that Emeryville isn't that far from home, the rush hour traffic makes it more of an expedition than tiny stomachs can endure comfortably, thus, one sensibly provisions before starting the engine. And being as how they were Swedish cookies, they had no corn syrup (a uniquely American perversion, that; to replace plain old sugar with corn syrup, which makes Rowan violent and insane). So there we are. We have just endured Megashopping, and both boys were still smiling and happy as they got into their seats to go home. No dramas, no crazies. I handed each boy a cookie. And Kestrel, who is now just 15 months old, took his cookie and clearly said, "Thank you!" I am blessed and graced beyond all reason.


At 9/14/2006 03:12:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

September 5, approximately 2:30pm. I am in the Emeryville IKEA. I have a cocktail party to attend in the evening, but first I must purchase some office supplies, It's Tuesday. I expect traffic to be nasty. I'm in a hurry. The person at the front won't let me take in a shopping cart. I get lost in IKEA, and even though I'm trying to find the Office department, I keep ending up in Kitchens. Where's the magazine racks? Oh? I need two dozen, can I have my shopping cart back now? I have to carry it in bags until I get downstairs? Oh, you have more down there? Where are they? Can you please stop bumping into me? The clock is ticking, and I'm going to be stuck in traffic and be late to the party! Can't you see this is a main thoroughfare? Hurry Up! Where's the locking file cabinets? You only have four styles? Only one style in Beech? I have to wait for them to bring it out to me? My bookshelf is heavy! Can I bring my car around? Can I fall on the ground right here and thrash around and scream?

P.S. Traffic wasn't nasty and I was a half hour early to the party.

P.P.S. I'm nearly 35 and your kids behaved better than I.

At 9/14/2006 03:36:00 PM, Anonymous Nana said...


At 9/29/2006 03:49:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pride goeth before a fall.

You might have compliant children. Their behavior may or may not have much to do with your alledged calm influence. They may become terrors in high school.

Using a blog to be a be a braggart and be a verbal exhibitionist, to display condescention toward other parents with children who may have had a public meltdown here and there despite maybe even being a better parent than you? Blech. You're gross.

At 9/29/2006 07:33:00 PM, Blogger ElementalMom said...

Yeah, well.... you're posting anonymously, which tells me the strength of your convictions. And if you think that was bragging or had anything to do with me at all, you absolutely missed the point.

At 9/29/2006 08:29:00 PM, Blogger Isabel said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 9/29/2006 08:31:00 PM, Blogger Isabel said...

For the record, I haven't laughed at anybody on this site until I came across these remarks.

At 9/29/2006 08:35:00 PM, Blogger Isabel said...

Wonderful! Jeez, EleMom, I'm going to have to come here more often to indulge my taste for laughing at others' expense. The "Pride" Anon here (like the "Made for Birthing" Anon, similar usage and everything) has clearly never met your kids if she/he/whatever thinks they're "compliant."

Whee! I thought I had to cruise political sites for this kind of egregious twittishness.

At 9/29/2006 08:37:00 PM, Blogger Isabel said...

I love Anon "35"s remarks. Sometimes I look at kids having a meltdown, as they all do sooner or later -- if they're not overmedicated -- and just sigh with envy.

Wish I got to lie down and shriek. They'd take me away. [poignant sigh]


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