05 September 2006

Closer

Anyone who cosleeps can tell you that sometimes, on some nights, a king sized bed just isn't enough. Rowan has his own bed, in our room, and has the ability to sleep wherever he prefers. Sometimes, that's his bed, sometimes, it's ours. Some nights, he wants his own space, some nights, he wants to cuddle. That's fine with us. He's still a very little boy. Lately, he's been sleeping more in our bed. He's growing, so he's physically a little uncomfortable, and seems to sleep better when snuggled up to the Human Blast Furnace that is his Papa. Unfortunately, that means he's also next to Kestrel, who, like most babies his age, flails unbelievably. Whomever said the unfortunate phrase "sleep like a baby" has obviously never coslept. Kes is all over the place, sometimes because he's looking for comfort, sometimes because he's signalling that he has to pee. Either way, we've all gotten our share of Kestrel-inflicted bumps. Eventually, it'll mellow out, and he'll sleep like his brother, who at this point pours himself into bed, and doesn't move or stir for 10 or more hours. Sleeps more like a teenager than a baby, really. Last night, Kestrel was flailing. Lots of stimulation, a very busy day, and some unusual items in his diet, combined with teething and growing, and bammo, you have the SuperMobile baby. Flip. Flop. Flip. Flop. Pound. Thumpthumpthump. Flail. Mumble. Repeat. Finally, in desperation, I grabbed him and snuggled him in close, really close. Wrapped an arm around him, nestled his head up onto my shoulder... ...and felt his whole body relax. He melted into me like a symbiote, and immediately was soundly, motionlessly, blessedly asleep. And really, how many things is that a metaphor for? We, all of us, do better sometimes when we're closer. When the people who love us best make room for us right beside them, so we can snuggle in, absorb the warmth and the smell and the security, and settle in, in peace. Closer is the answer.

5 Comments:

At 9/06/2006 08:37:00 AM, Blogger SFWriter13 said...

I've always thought so! :) I think I might still even have some of the bruises from Josh kicking me--he's always been quite the thrasher at night . . .

I pity the poor girl (years and years and years from now!) that ends up with him!

 
At 9/10/2006 08:14:00 AM, Blogger mom2radata said...

We still have two boys (5 and almost 2) in bed with us and some nights it is quite the acrobatic event for all of us to cuddle and sleep comfortably.
It is very much worth it though.

 
At 9/12/2006 11:46:00 AM, Blogger Moira said...

I was just thinking on this subject this morning... Most nights Ona ends up in bed with me... some nights she starts out in my bed only to end up in hers... and really Danni and Bren did the same thing they had a welcome invite to cuddle/sleep in bed... I think they sleep better.

 
At 9/14/2006 03:15:00 AM, Anonymous Lizzie said...

Well my love, I want to thank you and your words of wisdom for holding our day together today, it was definitely heading west!!

My beloved is in lots of pain, and very stressed, and getting grumpy with us all, and yup, snarling at the kids, one of my most ferocious triggers. This morning I suggested that perhaps she needed some space from us all, to ease the pressure a bit. Well, she nearly fell apart, crying and screaming like the best toddler can do.

Then she went out for her daily rehab at the pool. While she was gone I read your blog, reminded myself of what I often say to her. When the kids are behaving the worst is when they need your love and understanding the most. I read your blog again, and thought some more. When she returned home, I sidled up to her, and asked if I could give her a hug, and while I held her I asked her to be in it too, she melted in, she cried, she told me how hard it all is, AND she told me how lonely it all is, and how scary the prospect of going somewhere else and being on her own would be. You are so right, CLOSER is where she needs to be, and where I'll endeavour to hold her. Much Love, Lizzie

 
At 9/25/2006 06:15:00 AM, Anonymous Eunbi umma said...

Huh! My 6 mo old is exactly the same as Kestrel in this post. Beyond the metaphor, thanks for the practical point that might help my baby sleep better. ;)

 

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